“I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please—not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep, but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk or a snooze in the sunshine. I don’t want enough of Him to make me love a black man or pick beets with a migrant. I want ecstasy, not transformation; I want the warmth of the womb, not a new birth. I want a pound of the eternal in a paper sack. I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.” – Wilbur Rees
Wilbur Rees understood what we ourselves don’t always see—we often just want enough of God. Enough to bring healing. Enough to bring abundance. Enough to bring an answered prayer. Enough to bring an encounter and a shiver down the spine. Enough to bring revelation.
We want a pound of the eternal in a paper sack. We want eternal things we can understand, eternal things that are tangible, which fit nicely into our lives.
I cry out to God, dig into His word, tell Him I want to know Him more, understand Him more. But, I often feel I want His comfort more than anything—a warm cup of milk.
I want transformation, but I want that transformation to feel like ecstasy. Struggle? Do I have to endure that? At the snap of fingers, I want to be transformed. I want the warmth of the womb, not a new birth. A new birth is shocking, blinding, unfamiliar.
I’ve found I often ask for just $3 worth of God.
Deep down, I know I want him to explode my soul, to disturb my sleep. But, the thought terrifies me, so I pray reluctant prayers, I act with a reluctant heart. Not intentionally. I just let the fear of the unknown keep me satisfied with the small portion that I have.
I’m willing to embrace the rush that comes from knowing God, but not the pain that comes from being made like Him.
I’m willing to supersize everything else in my life, Lord give me the courage to ask for more of You, and to embrace it, even when it is painful and uncomfortable.
Lord, help me embrace all that following you means.
Lord, help me wholeheartedly want all there is of You in all of Your unimaginable glory.