Am I supposed to be sick?
I have been chronically ill for the past 8 years. It started as severe migraines, along with extreme all over pain, and high inflammation. I had a rough pregnancy with our youngest followed by a cancer diagnosis about a year later. I have been basically in constant pain for almost 8 years.
I have taken many of the drug recommendations. Spent way too much time in pain clinics and doctor’s offices. I have tried chiropractors, acupuncturists, massage, injections… the list goes on and on.
Most recently, I have been adapting a paleo lifestyle. Basically unprocessed food- no grains, gluten, dairy, and refined sugar. I was obsessed with reading these healing stories about people, that were worse off than me, completely heal themselves through diet and lifestyle changes.
Once I started the lifestyle, I felt great but as time has gone on things have gotten worse. Some things have gotten better but overall I'm still in a lot of pain. I just kept turning back to these paleo “experts” trying to tweak things to try and heal myself. Trying to decide whether or not to go on an even stricter version of the diet called AIP.
Then it dawned on me one day while listening to a podcast on the paleo lifestyle, I am looking to these people/books/podcasts to have the secret answer to healing myself when what my focus should be on is God. He is the only one who can truly heal me. Is it possible that I am supposed to be sick? Not that God would cause me to be sick to punish me but that there is some higher purpose for all of this.
Romans 5: 3-5 says “And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
So does God have some higher purpose in the daily pain I endure?
Yes I believe so. At this point, I don’t see the purpose. Frankly, it angers me some days but no matter what, I do have hope. Hope in Christ and knowing that one day I will not suffer even if I have to wait till I’m in heaven.
That’s not to say that I am not being very serious about my diet and lifestyle because God calls us to treat our bodies as his temple. I believe we should eat healthy, unprocessed whole foods. I no longer look to the paleo experts for my healing, I look only to God because that is the only place my focus should be.